Give Bin Laden a Credible Muslim Funeral

This is breaking news, so I may update this post later, but initial reports are that Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Special Forces near the capital city of Pakistan.

Good, and I would like to take this opportunity to wish a Happy May Day to all of Humanity. Now, more than previously, this can be a holiday that crosses cultural, political, and religious lines.

At this point, the thing to do is identify the senior Muslim Chaplain in the United States Armed Forces and have an impeccable traditional Islamic funeral conducted… at sea.

So long as we give him the solemn funeral due to any believer of any faith, many of our Culturally Liberal allies in their 20s and 30s in places like Iran and Egypt will celebrate with us. Let us not horrify them with barbarism, and drive them away.

Once that is done, we need to prepare for attempted retaliation in the days and weeks to come. By “we,” I mean you the reader and me Chris. This monumental intercontinental and intercultural conflict is not over; OBL hasn’t been running the day-to-day of Al Qaeda for years.

Why bury him at sea and not in a grave on land? Any grave on land will be a focal point for violent protests and conflict for decades to come. If you put an iron-clad fence around it 100 meters away, then the violence will happen 100 meters away with just as much intensity. That type of focal point will almost certainly come into existence anyways, but I believe it is important for the United States not to be the ones intentionally choosing or creating such a focal point for death and violence.

EDIT: Holy crap, google is quick! I’ve never been #1 for such a non-specific google search before and it took under an hour for this blog post. 😛

(click for full size)

EDIT2: What the hell, Al Jazeera Live (less than 2 hours after this blog post) is now reporting that OBL will be buried at sea…

Give Bin Laden a Credible Muslim Funeral

2 thoughts on “Give Bin Laden a Credible Muslim Funeral

  1. Joy says:

    I found you because I was looking to see if the burial at sea was copasetic under Islamic traditions. When I read the Wikipedia entry saying the burial must be in a grave, I thought ‘uh oh.’ But your reasoning for “at sea” is likely EXACTLY what the powers that be were thinking, and I’ve got to say: well done. Nicely reasoned, nicely written, and HOLY COW what timeliness. :o)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s