My favorite internet holiday has ended, and I must now wait 364 days until the next.
I really shouldn’t say these are the “best”, but I already did. A more accurate statement would be that this is “a selection of ones that I found amusing”. Here we go:
This one actually got both my roomate and his friend going for a while, both US Army veterans. In the case of my roomate, he recalled when the Army adopted the silly looking berets they currently wear, making the story credible.
(Image Credit: US Army)
If you aren’t a nerd, don’t bother looking at that one.
If you are a nerd: Includes quotes from Ballmer, Torvalds, rms, and Oracle.
A few people seemed to fall for that one. I made this picture to go with the article, but it would have introduced a plot hole so I didn’t post it at the time. It is completely over-the-top ridiculous.
Before any other Marines or Former Marines get all riled up over the distinctive pattern on my sleeves and collar: this was in my back yard and in the context of a joke. Settle down, jefe, you’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Get it? PirateBay and eBay? Yeah.
Worth reading the whole thing. It is satire, and mostly a criticism of pseudo-scientists, CNN and Fox news “experts”, creationists, etc. They talk about dinosaurs, global warming, and so on. You know, the important stuff.
And Finally, one that I hope is a prank: US Army to Issue Smartphones to All Soldiers
For Angry Birds and Words With Friends!? No! Google Maps and Text Messaging.
Unlike the Stetson article, the one was written by a named three-star General and was not updated today to include a giveaway that it was an April Fools joke.
If it is not a joke, I wonder how they came to the conclusion that American Troops carrying American Cellular Phones will have cell phone reception in foreign nations that we may someday be at war with, and I wonder what the rationale behind putting a GPS locater on every soldier was… to keep the enemy better informed of the whereabouts of American forces via radio triangulation?
That would especially be a concern in a theater were few locals have cellular phones. In such a theater, 40 people walking together and broadcasting radio transmissions over both cellular and GPS frequencies can pretty much mean only one of two things: either the 40 richest people in the nation are out for a walk together, or a platoon of US Army soldiers is on the move. We all know that telling a bunch of teenagers and people in their early 20s, “OK, everyone turn off your cell phones now” doesn’t always work out exactly as one would hope.